A long time coming...

Sometimes life can down right be crappy and never seem to get better, but it does. It always does, we just have to look for the good in things. In my life, for me to find the good things in life I have had to go back to the very beginning and work through things by rewriting the way I thought about things and adjusting how I acted. Don't get me wrong, it has not exactly been easy.

BUT,

I know that it is totally possible! I know this because of where I am in life and where I am heading. My strength is found in this idea of a god, and my amazing fiance who challenges me to be the best that I can be, and the most honest, rawest form of myself especially when I would rather hide behind a wall or two.

Being honest with myself has not been easy, but it has been totally worth it. This is because of where I was and where I am today because of being honest with myself, what I was thinking, what I was doing and who I was hanging out with. I have started on the long and always will be constant, path to recovery. There have been numerous things that I have been in denial about, in part because I have not exactly been called out on things, that I have started working on.

In all honesty, it often times feels like I am suffocating because of the various things I have done. But accepting responsibility for what I have done and learning from it has given me the strength to realize the pain I was causing those around me.

With that, I have felt the calling to actually work through the things that have brought me to be who I am today. By the grace of god, I am alive and well. I am discovering things that I would never have thought I would have discovered...

-there is a god who loves me and forgives me
-good people who actually care exist and
-that freedom and letting go of the past is totally possible!!

There is hope, peace, happiness, contentment, joy and so much more possible!

Today, I am engaged to be married to the man of my dreams, someone I wholeheartedly love unconditionally!

I have a positive life with both my feet solidly on the ground despite occasional waves of water finding my feet; they are still firm on solid ground. Not sand or sticks, but rock where the foundation is god. This is the only foundation that will truly last for eternity.

Jesus saved me, hallelujah!