miley cyrus

We look up to people and hold them to higher standards all the time. I have always looked up to some people, people I have never even met. There however, have been a few people that I know that I try to live my life the way they do. I fail, though. I fail miserably. They are free and able to live life pretty happily. I can't go an hour or so without a negative thought. I hate it.

I have trust issues and for me to look up to someone is strange. I trust not too easily, but very lightly. I practically don't trust anyone but there are only a couple of people whom I trust. They are people who know some of my darkness. But there is only one person who I trust 99% of the time. I trust them enough to tell them parts of my heart. These are parts that I have never let anyone know. I don't really even trust myself with these parts because... because they are parts that vary by the moment and I can hardly control it.

My emotions are varied like the people around me at any given point of time. Usually there is not much organization to my thought and emotions but today there have been. We strive to act, look, talk, walk, and be like certain people, most of which are celebrities or idols. For girls/women we are told and convinced that we need to look sexy and beautiful, be skinny, wear make-up, wear expensive name brand clothing, and soo much more. We ruin our bodies, well some of us, inorder to achieve this stuff. But what does it do to us? I know a few people where it has turned horrible with eating disorders, depression, and so much more. They are often permanently scarred.

It can't be easy living with such struggles but we are often in search of happiness and being the perfect, beautiful, and sexy person. But why when satisfaction is only temporary. Is there not something more that we crave? As if there is a hole in our heart and we are attempting to fill it with material possessions: money, success, love, family, beauty. Is that not true?

What is the point in living if our satisfaction and stuff is only temporary?

Is there something within ourselves that will never be fulfilled?

Is there such a thing as inner beauty rather than just pure outter beauty?