confusion

There is pretty much a bunch of confusion within this brain of mine and I don't exactly know how to start to unwind the millions of knots that my brain consists of.

Where do I begin??

I know that it takes time, diligence, earnestness, truthfulness/honesty, and a bunch of other things but it is slow. Well, I already knew that it would be a slow process but you know, you never really realize how slow of a process it is until it becomes a process. But.

What is a process even?

According to dictionary.com, a process is:

1. a systematic series of actions directed to some end... (to devise a process for homogenizing milk)
2. a continuous action, operation, or series of changes taking place in a definite manner... (the process of decay)

So basically, it seems as though A --> B --> C--> and so forth with a bunch of factors factoring in, of course.

Yeah for processes!! (...not)

I guess I'm just stuck here amidst my knotted brain, trying to figure out which synaptic nerve ending to start with in order to continue moving forward. There is sooo many to choose and I don't know which to choose. Yes, I am still questioning everything of my existence and then some. For example:

Why do I gravitate toward negative energy?

How do I gravitate toward positive energy?

What does my routine need to be?

What thoughts do I need to cambiar en una manera differente?

Hay personas en mi vida que no son buenas?

Hay personas que no estan en mi vida que necesitaron ser en mi vida?

Que son los tratos que necesito tener por exito?

Debo haver una pausa en mis concursos en EWU for La Escuela de Trabajo Social?

Estaban mis concursos en EWU una parte de mi vida loca?

POR QUE HABLABA EN ESPANOL AHORA???? (no necesito hacerlo)

At the moment, I am lost. Actually, its not an "at the moment" being lost since it is more of a consistently being lost amidst my brain that really isn't crazy but just stuck in a mode that it needs to works its way out of.

It doesn't help that I love to workout and run and I somehow managed to sprain my ankle the other day; not sure how but I did and no, it wasn't because of my crazy and insane drunkenness on moving forward or changing or anything.

In fact, a lot of people would say that one should not change who they are. And while for some that may be the case, I

don't

think

that

would

be

a

smart

idea,

to say the least.

And so here I am...

feeling lost.