Today, the 28th of July, 2011

Well today has been quite interesting, to say the least. It all started 21 hours ago with my telling a really good friend "goodbye" in an essence from facebook and conversation which was totally out of proportion, and seemingly enough I don't regret it, want to apologize for it, or anything of the sort. I am not sure why, but I do know this, I was out of control and have been for the last couple of nights, and or days. I know I already wrote this to this really good friend of mine last night, or this morning, I should say. But prior to said messages, I had a fair share of time spent thinking.

I have actually had a great deal of time to think about things, everything actually; everything and anything. Early this morning I was thinking and processing things while I was psychotically cleaning and organizing everything that which was on my floor and bed; pretty sure there were 3 to 4 loads of laundry on my floor/bed, folded and put away too. So in the essence, I cleaned everything of my and was lost in thought, deep thought.

I was questioning and debating everything physical.

I was questioning and debating everything mental/psychological.

I was questioning my motives for things.

I was questioning what I wanted to do with my life.

I was questioning what I did not want to do with my life.

I was pondering what my goals should be.

I was pondering what to do to move forward.

I was pondering how to get pass my past.

I was pondering my friends.

I was pondering my existence.

I was questioning and pondering every single thing and thought.

I know that within one's life, questioning everything is a natural part of growing up and moving forward. I do however, think I am losing myself within all of the questions to a point of insanity.

Though, how does one accept their unpleasant past?