Nestea Red Tea (Pomegranate and Passion Fruit)

Since Saturday evening, I have not been thinking too much; not sure if it's good or bad but it is what it is nonetheless. I have been in the mood to read non-textbooks books and borrowed some from my friend since I haven't made it to the library yet. The books are pretty good. I was going to read more last night but I was starting to fall asleep and needed to take advantage of such.

I am starting to realize how poor my falling sleep abilities are. I know that once I am asleep, I usually have no problem sleeping and can pretty much sleep through just about anything. It is just the falling asleep or getting sleepy enough to go to bed, otherwise I would lie in bed wide awake while the rest of the city sleeps. I have tried a few different things to assist in my falling asleep, though a majority of them are not exactly "healthy".

On a brighter note, I am readjusting to my being single again. Seven weeks of being in a relationship can alter one's being with which one must readjust and reacquaint their self with the differences. Being in the relationship has taught me things that are both beneficial and demeaning? This is shown by how I witnessed various persons doing various activities that I would not allow myself to do. I have to be cautious with what I surround myself and allow myself to be involved in, as it could be detrimental to my well-being. Similarly, there are many things that people would consider normal but there are differences in the definitions of said normalcy.

Some people would have more conservative and religious based definitions and views as to what is acceptable and vice versa. On the other hand, those whom are more liberal and politically based would base things from a societal point of view. An example of said views would be a couple moving in with each other and how one side of things, people would not find such action as acceptable, while others may find it as acceptable to do such. It depends on the person and the situation as to what is and is not acceptable, at least this is what I have come to notice.

Overall, I am starting to realize that the end of the relationship I was in came at a beneficial time. This is because I have been working through some things that I have been needing to work on, and what better time than summer to start. So far it has been slow but not as slow as I would have expected. I am realizing and acknowledging things that I have been either ignoring or just did not realize. I am working on finding out what is and is not true within my life and my values and beliefs. I am also working on affirming the truths that I know are true. So far, this has process has evolved into something that I did not think it would evolve into. This is due to the fact that I was completely unsure where it would take me, not take me, and so many other things, but at the moment, it has taken me to a more positive and healthy place in my life.

At the moment, I am working on:

• regularly working out whether it be ice skating, stick and puck/drop-in hockey, going for a run, and/or working out at the gym
• eating less sugar and junk food with which I replace the urge with fresh fruit
• eating more balanced meals and more regular meals
• find positive things to do with my energy AND boredom
• have positive and affirmative thoughts rather than negative and demeaning ones

I am working on adjusting my everything into a better and healthier and positive and encouraging and trusting and empathetic person.

While it may not always be easy or anything of the sort, it is becoming worthwhile.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." --Unknown

I have held on for so long because of the friends that I have that care about me and want what's best for me, even when I can hardly walk straight to save my life; just as I want the best for them!

I <3 my friends!